Posted by DAisym on April 3, 2008, at 18:22:02
In reply to In the thick of things ..., posted by Annierose on April 3, 2008, at 14:38:52
It is amazing to me how physically sick fear can make us. And the anxiety of need is the biggest fear of all. Better not to need, better not to risk rejection.
You are doing such great work. Deep and painful, I know. But what a huge thing, to tell her, right then, what you'd hoped for. How many times did you walk away from your mom, wind out of your sails, without her ever knowing?
It is a hard thing to unlearn - this keeping quiet when our feelings are hurt or we are disappointed. I'm not talking about have a tantrum or always complaining - but there is a middle ground. Silence, stuffing - these are not middle ground options.
And I HATE it when I finally get to those big feelings and we are out of time. This has happened a lot over the past few weeks. I wonder if I'm protecting myself unknowingly from having to stay with the feelings for very long.
I like the analogy. But I agree - it isn't that simple. We know it is OK to throw away a stone. But it doesn't seem OK to throw away our mothers - so their voices stick in our heads. If only there was a way to turn mothers to stone...
poster:DAisym
thread:821363
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080321/msgs/821404.html