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Re: T 'takes a moment' - has this happened to you?

Posted by DAisym on April 3, 2008, at 18:13:38

In reply to Re: T 'takes a moment' - has this happened to you? » backseatdriver, posted by Kath on April 3, 2008, at 17:32:30

I think I would have freaked a bit - "why? Why are you being quiet? Are you mad?" Sometimes my therapist will suggest that *I* sit with something - like when I can't quite get to the feeling. And he has been quiet before - enough so I'll ask, "What?" Or "What are you thinking?" He tells me when I ask.

I agree with Kath - I think your reaction is something to talk about, especially since you focused on his wedding ring. What does meeting your needs look like? And it is a really scary place to be, to feel those needs. I struggle hugely with this myself.

I'll share something else. I have asked, "what do I do with these feelings?" -especially anger. Almost always he answers a question with a question - what have you tried? What comes to mind? What would you like to do? -- But last week I was in such an agitated state over something that when he answered with a question, I lost it. I yelled, (which is unusual for me, it was a sort of hysterical sobbing/yelling) "No! No questions. Just tell me..." And he did.

This session sounds really important. I'm glad you were able to feel your feelings. But the "now what?" is really scary, isn't it?

 

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