Posted by rskontos on March 31, 2008, at 15:26:33
In reply to Homework, posted by Daisym on March 30, 2008, at 0:30:57
Daisym,
My mother was abusive and emotional absent as was my father. I am dissociative due to it and have no memories of anything. My one sister that i have been estranged from, and I have recently spoken and she confirmed some SA that I only suspected from flashbacks. I know of physically abuse from my mother's lovers and I have flashbacks of SA from them as well but haven't addressed that completely. I believe she knew. Now my mother was SA as a child herself and I believe she did not think about it personally to me, that I should or should not be protected. I believe later as she got older she protected my youngest sister. My sister and I, the youngest one, not the estranged one, discussed how I got it worst than she that is why I have no memories and she does. I don't have all my memories I am still working on the flashbacks and the fragmented parts of me still stop me alot and interfere. Anyway,
my mother died when I was 27 and I am now 49. It was just recently that her hold on me was released. It is powerful the hold an abusive parent has, even in death my mother still had an unnatural hold over me. My mother did not think she was abusive to us. She was so hard to live with you never knew what she might do to you. Fling you across the room, yup that might happen. So you tipped toed around her always. My sisters and I rarely had friends over. My father says now that he felt sorry for us, but did he ever intervene heck no. We were on our own. They fought violently all the time. School was a haven for me.So I can't tell you how to deal with a mom now. I did not say anything to mine I usually left in my mind and another came out to deal with the hurt, pain and humiliation. My sister tried to say stuff to her and got her check cut open by my mother with a broken bottle. I was not there at the time. So I understand that even if I thought anything I would have never said anything to my mother, it was a matter of survival. But then in my case she was one of the abusers.
I am so sorry for your painful remembrances but it does sound like you have a wonderful T. I would be anxious about a trip though. So I am with him on that. Are you prepared.
Thanks so sharing this. I learn so much through your threads and post. You are doing so much wonderful work.
rsk
poster:rskontos
thread:820633
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080321/msgs/820908.html