Posted by red house on March 17, 2008, at 7:04:15
In reply to Re: Love as the agent of change -- kind of long » red house, posted by Annierose on March 15, 2008, at 14:58:11
thank you for sharing your thoughts. i think that's right that therapy is a "giant love affair" from the client's perspective. it is so fundamental and hopeully transformative for us.
my T and i spend a good deal of time working in the therapy relationship, so we've sort of talked about it, but i think i will take your advice and be a little more direct about what i'm feeling/trying to say this week.
> I think I understand what you are trying to say and receive from your therapist.
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> My therapist has described the therapeutic relationship as a "giant love affair" - from the clients point of view. That being said, I do think she cares a great deal about me or otherwise I do not think she could or want to help me (she has said this as well).
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> There is a power differential. We are much more invested to their feelings about us than the reverse. I don't think that came out right. In other words, they are a huge part of our emotional life. We are important to them but in a different context.
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> I think Paul is right when he says he loves his clients. Since you see your therapist twice a week, I gather he/she is psychodynamic therapist. I would think he/she would be willing to explore your relationship with him/her.
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> You mentioned you asked "cagily". Try being more direct. Yes, it's scary but it's a conversation well worth exploring.
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> And I think you are exactly right. It is difficult to accept love from another person - whether friend or therapist if the receivee has a difficult time trusting the relationship. So yes, love is the agent of change.
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poster:red house
thread:818078
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080226/msgs/818408.html