Posted by Daisym on March 10, 2008, at 23:45:53
I'm working on being aware of what is happening in my body. So tonight I feel some tightness in my left calf muscle and that "I need to stretch" feeling in my lower back. My neck is tired - too much driving this weekend and my left elbow is achy from too much typing and bad posture while doing it. There is a heaviness in my chest - anxiety mixed with some unidentified upset. I feel like I do when I've had a tough session or when I'm upset with my therapist but I don't think I am -- am I?
We had an OK session - we've been talking the past few times about sexual feelings, which gets tough. But I've been handling it OK. Today my brain turned off - he saw it and I described it as a garage door coming down. I can see it but I can't stop it, it just happens. He joked that he needed to be more careful about hitting the button - you know - that remote thingy that makes your garage door close. Too bad it is an invisible button so you never know where it is exactly. And I did get upset with him a little but he cleared it up.
So what is this? I hate this feeling. Someone described it as dread - I think that is it. And loss somehow. Something is missing...maybe it is just being tuned in more to my body, which means I have to stay in it instead of floating away.
It would be so much better not to have a body, except...where would my shoes go then?
I'm just rambling tonight. Can you describe what is happening in your body? And can you escape it?
poster:Daisym
thread:817276
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080226/msgs/817276.html