Posted by DAisym on January 4, 2008, at 17:57:34
In reply to Re: Bodhisattva » Dinah, posted by star008 on January 4, 2008, at 16:21:55
I think there is more of a middle ground than "no control" or "absolute control" for any one person. (Aren't I good at pointing out the obvious?) So many people throw their hands in the air and declare, "I have no control" and yet they do - things like timing, or planning or perspective gives us more control over our lives than many think.
Going back to Dinah's flood example - the average person would agree that there was no control to be had over the water. But planning for a disaster is in one's control. Or helping another person - you can control the timing of the offer, and how you present it.
So maybe what I'm actually saying is we have more influence over things, while not being able to absolutely control them.
If I want to sell something, I can influence the buyer by the words I choose, or how hard I worked to spiff up the thing, or even in my willingness to bargain the price. But I can't, in the end, MAKE him buy.
Semantics? Perhaps. But I think part of the trouble with so many things right now is abdication of personal responsibility, which sometimes is framed in the "I had no control over that" statement. I know that isn't what you are saying, but perhaps total acceptance of no control should not mean total acceptance of no influence.
poster:DAisym
thread:804179
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080101/msgs/804300.html