Posted by Sigismund on January 2, 2008, at 23:20:55
In reply to Re: Sense of self » Sigismund, posted by Dinah on January 2, 2008, at 22:59:20
>Aren't values part of a stable sense of self? Not that I'm any expert, since my particular pathology leaves me with a very choppy, disconnected, sense of who I am. But when I get scared by that, a sense of what my values are is one of the things that most helps to ground me.
I don't *think* it's like that with me. I grew up in a family where it was impossible to be oneself and I've been very good at not being myself (not been very good at being myself)ever since. With one shrink we formulated the idea that with me it was like I was playing tennis from the wrong end of the court. Possibly it stems from a massive desire to protect someone somewhere for some reason once upon a time. Sometimes it's all very interesting (too interesting!), and uh, I had a tendency to do the Rimbaud destruction of personality thing.
But sometimes now I end up in places where I shouldn't be (so to speak) and the only way back is a kind of psychic storm that lasts a day or a week. Values don't help *me* get back, because if I'm away I don't really have any values.
I always fear that I'll end up like my mother in some TS Eliot nightmare saying 'But what should I do? What should I do?'I once did a post on Self Esteem...
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/esteem/20060921/msgs/692170.html
which attempted to deal with this from one angle.
I find the process of doing all this so exhausting that when I do get a handle on how things should work I'm inclined to be very dogmatic, because it has been so hard to acquire.
poster:Sigismund
thread:803833
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080101/msgs/803945.html