Posted by dancinbillie on December 20, 2007, at 10:37:07
I was an outpatient in Inova Fairfax Hospital's psych partial hospitalization program from April 25, 2007 through July 20, 2007 and again from August 10, 2007 through September 14, 2007. The Psych RN with whom I worked most of the time, XXX (hereinafter "XX"), crossed/violated boundaries several times. The two of us formed an extremely strong attachment over the months I was in the program. She told me specifically and on multiple occasions, "I think you know I love you," "I wouldn't usually self-disclose so much but I'm crazy about you," "You're very beautiful to me," "You haven't been loved enough," "I'll always care about you," "We have a special connection;" she hugged me on more than one occasion and she lent me DVDs and books. She made it clear that she did not want her colleagues to know the extent of her feelings for me, and instructed me that when I asked for a one-on-one meeting with her that I must do it in front of other people so that no one would think the one-on-one meetings were meeting HER needs. When I asked, she admitted that having one-on-ones with me was meeting some needs of hers but wouldn't elaborate on what those needs were. I have dozens of pages of contemporaneous notes that I made during the time I was in the program - unfortunately, I was very vulnerable while I was in the program and thus was so flattered by all the wonderful things XX was saying and doing that I decided, after a while, to keep a record of many of our talks so that I could look back at the notes later and feel good all over again.
Around mid-to-end of August, other members of the treatment team decided that our relationship had gone too far, and "separated" us. A couple of weeks later, in cognitive group therapy, I spoke of intrusive, obsessive thoughts I was having about XX - maternal transference issues (no safety issues). XX immediately took this to mean that I was sexually attracted to her and she went to the program's medical director about it, stating this made her "uncomfortable." I tried to have a couple of meetings with her and various program "chiefs" to straighten out the misunderstanding - I thought all was well after one meeting, but could tell by the way XX treated me subsequently that there was clearly still a misunderstanding on her part. I scheduled another meeting about a week later, this time with the program director, the medical director, XX and myself, and XX walked out of the meeting almost immediately because she said she did not want to "rehash" anything. A week before I left program, the medical director told me that XX was still "creeped out" and thought I was sitting around fantasizing about her and masturbating, which was not at all the case. Because XX was basically ignoring me at this point, I asked the medical director to be sure and reiterate to XX that I was having a strong maternal transference with her, nothing sexual. Later that day, I had a sixty-second opportunity to speak to XX, who admitted that she had misunderstood previously and further told me, "We're okay, don't worry - you know, there's a kind of funny aspect to all this!" The weekend after I left the program, I wrote a grateful letter to XX and mailed it to her home - her address was noted on some of the items she lent to me, along with her home phone number and cell phone number. I was not aware at that time that such an action would be a problem. Because I was having extreme difficulties with the separation from XX, my husband left a message on her cell phone that week, asking if she would be willing to "collaborate" with him to help me through the situation. She didn't return the call. Two weeks later, however, she returned the letter I'd written her to my husband, unopened, via the security manager of the hospital and threatened police/legal action if either of us tried to contact her again.
Although the plan was that I was to return to the partial hospital program after a couple of weeks of ECT treatment, I was advised informally by the program's medical director (my medication management psychiatrist) that I would be denied re-admittance to the program even though she had strongly advocated on my behalf and my insurance company case manager expected that I would return to the program as well. The medical director stated that the hospital would cite a "safety" issue between me and XX, because of the letter I'd sent and the cell phone message my husband left, but that the real reason I would not be allowed back into the program was because XX felt "uncomfortable" and had demanded of the hospital decision-makers that I not be allowed back into the program. The medical director also told me that there was an investigation going on into this situation but that XX had "clammed up" and was refusing to talk about it. The medical director further stated that, partially as a result of this situation and also because of other similar situations, she (the medical director) had tendered her resignation from the hospital as of January 2008. She (the medical director) has been directed by the hospital not to discuss the situation any further with me.
Both my medical management psychiatrist (the medical director) and psychotherapist think I should go back to the partial hospital program briefly to work some more with XX on the attachment issues and work toward a successful separation. I'm an adoptee and have always had attachment/separation issues, which XX was well aware of. At the very least, they both agree that I should be granted a mediated meeting with XX and whatever other hospital staff would be required for XX to feel "safe" in order to discuss the situation and see if I can get some closure. I've written a few letters to the hospital since October 30, but have once been declined re-admittance to the program with no reason given, have never been afforded the courtesy of a response to my request for a mediated meeting, and otherwise ignored. I and my family believe I've been psychologically injured, first by XX's boundary violations and then by the hospital's refusal to re-admit me to the program or grant a mediated meeting to resolve the issues with the person with whom I have the issues. I'm in therapy three times per week and have not yet been released to work. I'm suffering frequent suicidal ideation (at least daily) and am in a major depressive phase of my bipolar disorder since these events.
Is the hospital allowed to keep me out of the partial hospitalization program because one of the staff feels "uncomfortable?" Did the psych RN simply misstep or malpractice? I'm a paying client of this hospital and feel I'm being treated unfairly. Thanks.
poster:dancinbillie
thread:801739
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071215/msgs/801739.html