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Some random thoughts for a Saturday....

Posted by Maria01 on December 8, 2007, at 11:57:40

I'm so tired of studying for finals; no wonder the youger students do well in school...they have the stamina for all this stuff. Onward:

I know on a rational level that my
T is genuinely caring. I don't think she'd be in the profession if she didn't have the capacity to care about others. She does a lot of work on behalf of domestic abuse, and also provides services for veterans of the Iraq war. Here is what I'm having trouble with: How can she care about me, beyond the obligatory therapeutic caring? My life is so differennt from hers. She's been married forever to a professor at one of the colleges here in the Bay Area, she has a daughter(read my prior post..angst) and most likely a coupla grandkids.

Me, well, I'm single(got divorced a long time ago when I realized that marriage is suffocating), and I don't have kids because, well, I'm just not a kid person and it didn't seem fair for me to have them if I'm not a kid person. Kids drive me crazy. She is hopelessly optimisitc, and I'm more pragmatic. In other words, two different planets altogether. In the big picture, it's no big deal...but since she is psychodynamic, the relationship and the capacity to care on a genuine level is paramount. I like the psychodynamic approach..it's more real and relatable.

Part of me wants to tell her if she's caring about me because her role dictates that she care, then not to bother(it reminds me of the classmates who would say to me "I'm only being nice to you because the teacher said so. Otherwise, I don't like you and never will"), because I don't need someone caring out of obligation or pity, kthanks.

For example, how can someone like her who has a kid genuinely relate to someone like me who doesn't like kids or want them? How can she, who's been married to the same guy since the dawn of time relate to me, who is not a big believer in marriage? The list goes on, but you get the gist. Monday's hour will be loaded...I've got the daughter thingy to deal with, and I need to find out where she stands. Personally, I think she just cares because her role dictates it. Call me cynical, but that's the way I see it.


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Psycho-Babble Psychology | Framed

poster:Maria01 thread:799515
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071204/msgs/799515.html