Posted by 10derHeart on December 5, 2007, at 13:34:46
In reply to OK Guys, GOOD session! Your turn will come., posted by muffled on December 4, 2007, at 15:21:45
[Warning: Don't anyone faint from shock, 10der is actually going to post something, long even, about herself and her T.!!!! whoo-hoo, it's about time...I'd say.....okay you can pick your jaws up off the floor now....;-) [
As I was leaving T. today, I thought of you and this post, because it was one of my best sessions ever.I am dealing with the future knowledge I will be moving across the country in about 4.5 months, and have not been able to fully tell/ask my T. about a lot of the stuff I'm afraid about until today. The sadness is just too huge and I can hardly speek about it, but I HAVE to, as it's too heavy to bear alone, you know? He knows how sad it is for me, and how attached I am, and scared to leave him, but there's so many specifics I just haven't been able to say or even write......but today I just BLURTED the last 10-15 minutes, and it was a GREAT session.
I was thinking how weird and dumb he must think I'm being, needing to talk about all this NOW - months before - but I soon found out that was so far from the truth. I was ASSuming again....silly me. He was so kind and he said some sweet stuff about how he's been thinking of what our "last session" will be like (what?!! you're thinking of me during the week?!! whoa...!) and that he dreads it, in a way, that it is, and I quote, "a final session I really don't want to have." !!!!!! Talk about making someone feel cared for.....
Anyway....there's was lots more, and lots of tissues used by me, but we really talked about what will happen afterwards, that he doesn't mind emails or calls and he's NOT afraid I'll be too much and "break the rules," 'cause the "rules" (of how am I supposed to behave after I'm not a client any more) are NOT what I was fearing....that he sees it as transition in the relationship and NEVER termination (hates that word) but not some sort of total cut off or loss of the relationship.
Anyway...I should start my own thread on this, but just wanted to say it felt like you were part of WHY this warm session, which has relieved a lot of anxiety already , happened just now. Like you were so joyous about your own, you threw out the energy and it splashed all over others - me included....sometimes I call it a human nudge to God, who sometimes smiles and says, "sure...I can let that happen today..." Does any of that make sense? I think you can get it through my awkward words.
Hope you're feeling okay, Muffy, physically and otherwise, and that the aftermath of your great session lasts and lasts. See, those emotions DO have some, good and useful purpose sometimes, right? If only we didn't have to deal with the sad/hard/hurting ones, too :-( But, we have other Babblers to help with that,at least. And that's huge. (((Muffy and Babblers))
poster:10derHeart
thread:798768
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071204/msgs/798942.html