Posted by Dory on December 1, 2007, at 19:28:25
In reply to Re: needing cold hard solutions » Dory, posted by Poet on December 1, 2007, at 16:33:26
ok.. i'll give a little more detail... nervously. i can get by, barely, completely on my own... even have some emergency safety nets. All good. i have stayed in school, also good. If it was tuition, i'd say screw it b/c i'd figure it out over time. Tuition can be paid off.
This week i got a very sharp reminder that i am dangling on someone else's thread. It could break or be cut for whatever reason, innocent or malicious. It's not the end of the world this time, but it's a warning bell. The future is a long stretch to have this worry.
It's school & T vs eating & rent. If i stay in school i can't hold down a job that can pay enough. See my prob? Having a job this past summer gave me more confidence.But trying to be self-sufficient and be in school is a problem i cant find an answer to.
remember.. i have ONE semester left. Just one. April. i have to make it to april.
i haven't gone down to 1xweek yet.. telling him that monday. it's hard because i need him more right now.. i seriously have been having a nervous break down. The stress has caused recurrence of stomach pain and losec doesn't even help. i can't change my circumstances much right now, so my option is to deal with the stress.
last night was bad... stomping around... pacing.. eating ativan... drinking.
i left a message with T saying i had this financial landmine to deal with... and he knows some of the scenario, but as i have been going 2xweek i dont think he is aware of how precarious it is. If i had not had him this past week.. i just dont know.. i was so bad i couldn't have even done myself in..
so what do you guys think? school? no school? It's not the cost of school, it's that being in school prevents me from having a decent job for now.
i am cutting down and cutting back. People are getting pound cake for xmas. (maybe i'll give them 1/2lb cakes to save money? :o) ) i actually did the opposite Muffy... got rid of the cell phone b/c the rates were crazy and i need a phone.. it's also bundled with my internet, which i need to make said income.
cant take the insurance off the car as it isn't paid for, but i don't pay either one anyway. i rarely use it.. once a week to get to brunch with some friends, and if i have something big to move. i have a buspass that came with my tuition.
my rent isn't cheap, but it includes everything, heat, hot water, electricity, parking. It;s a very nice, clean place and is ok with little ones.. and it's walking distance to a lot of stuff.
my mom sends me calling cards so i keep my LD bill way down. i transferred debts around to consolidate and reduce interest rates.
crappy thing though... had my wallet stolen a few weeks ago.. cost me a lot of money :o( ID's, cards, buspass... ugh.
i have been so physically ill recently. It has left me exhausted and so i dont have enough time to do other things i could do to either cut down, or make more money.
i hate this. >:o< i hate being dependent.
poster:Dory
thread:797913
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071120/msgs/798186.html