Posted by ClearSkies on October 24, 2007, at 15:40:40
Not lucky, but that some things are coming together nicely for me recently. My T reminded me today that much of the work that we do is contemplative, and some of it is pre-contemplative; that is, we aren't even aware that we're thinking about something. Then there are planning stages, and this is all before we ever even actually DO anything! I guess I'm posting about this because my T remarked that I all of a sudden have burst into action on several fronts.
I've started implementing Byron Katie's The Work, as I mentioned in an earlier thread. I read her book a few years ago, and though it resonated with me, at the time I thought, "Wow, I'd LOVE to be able to be at peace with myself and with the people around me," but it really seemed unattainable at the time. But I remained fascinated at the process, and pretty certain that, when the time was right, that I'd be able to apply the principles. So I read a lot, and tried to do some exercises, and sometimes they didn't feel right at all. Sometimes I felt like I got a glimmer of what it was all about. But I didn't beat myself up about it; I just put this stuff aside to be revisited later on. I've been able to do some of that work in the last week or so, with good results.
Then there's this huge, enormous piece for me, which has been my sobriety. I talk about it all the time (hello? That's *my* Substance board, pretty much). The last 2 years plus has been doing the work of outpatient treatment - THANK YOU, AUNTIE MEL, for the push in that absolutely right direction for me. The addition of Campral to my medication regime, which removed the physical craving for alcohol, which allowed me to concentrate on changing my behaviour and daily habits; and therapy, which, though hasn't been about sobriety per se, has actually been about nothing but sobriety, for the last 2 years.
These past 2 weeks I've been participating in a face to face meeting of a local group of Women For Sobriety, and this is yet another piece of the ClearSkies Puzzle. I was just about to inquire about starting a group of my own as the closest group is almost 60 miles away, when, out of the blue, I received an email from a member of an old group I'd met with. There was a new group starting up, and it was close to where I live! I've gone to a few meetings, and have offered to be co-moderator, which basically means that we can offer consistency and hold meetings regularly, which is an alternative to 12-step organizations for like-minded women in the area who want to be sober. This came along exactly at the time when I was looking for it, and exactly at a time in my sobriety when I feel that I can best help myself by helping others in overcoming their addictions.
And another piece of the puzzle - meeting up with Jammerlich. It seems like such a little thing, you know, making arrangements to meet up with a friend from PsychoBabble. But it's someone I'd never met before, someone about whom I didn't know very much, so it was a personal stretch, just as making any new friend is. And it went so wonderfully well! (I can highly recommend making these face-to-face connections to help shrink our world whenever it's feasible. Putting faces to names and voices to posts is invaluable.) And it's a really good thing for someone with social anxiety to be able to do. So, rah-rah, ClearSkies!
My volunteer work continues, and I'm making friendships every day that I go in, as the people are always changing. Another stretch for me.
And just most recently is a little hobby thing that has fell into my lap. My husband and I like to go to antique and collectibles shows. We just happened to meet up with a lady who is getting out of the business and is willing to sell us her entire inventory and selling equipment (tables, racks, shelves, packing materials) for a very reasonable price - and will lend us her expertise as he and I become acclimated to this new arena. I have a lot of learning to do, but it promises to be something that can be fun and I can get out of it as much as I choose to put into it.
As my T said to me today, I've been very busy in the last 2 weeks. But it feels that everything that is "all of a sudden" happening right now is because of all the groundwork, the contemplative stuff, that I've been doing, leading up to this. I won't lie: this doesn't feel quite trustworthy. I don't really believe that this isn't like some house of cards and will start to tumble around me. But those particular voices aren't as loud as they used to be, and I think I can take a few bumps here and there now.
So that's my little report card. A very long post for me, but it's all stuff I've been meaning to share with everyone for some time now.
ClearSkies
poster:ClearSkies
thread:791147
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071022/msgs/791147.html