Posted by happyflower on October 24, 2007, at 10:46:19
I am sad, but I am also feeling some outright rage torwards the person who gave birth to me. My husband is worried about the poem I am writing, but I am not a violent person, never have been. But I can write violent stuff to get out my emotions but I would never hurt anyone. They are just words, feelings, but not actions.
I remember fighting with my brother when I was very young 8 or 9 and I "couldn't hurt " him back, even though I felt like I wanted to.
But my poems are filled with disturbing images and annalogies this morning. I wouldn't actually do these things ever. But sometimes you want someone who has abused you to feel some of the pain you have felt emotionally. Sometimes those thoughts are dark and violent because that is what pain feels like sometimes. And if they had no emotions like my mother, then you want them to physically feel it. But it isn't something I would actually do to a person. Does that make scense? I am taking my poem to my T today. I guess it is easier for me to take out my anger in writing, not verbal words. I write better than I speak. But the image is very dark and twisted.
poster:happyflower
thread:791080
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071022/msgs/791080.html