Posted by Dory on October 9, 2007, at 0:02:55
In reply to Re: having a better day, posted by rskontos on October 8, 2007, at 22:32:42
i have to ask, because you have used this expression a dozen or so times.. what the hell does "out of pocket" mean? :o) In this part of the world "out of pocket" means you are paying for something yourself as opposed to, say, having an insurance company pay... so i pay my T out of pocket. But this is obviously not how you are using it. i've been trying to figure it out... maybe you mean away or out of touch? i love interesting, quirky expressions.
are you not wanting to get close to the people who T's away, or not wanting to get close to people in general, or not wanting to get close to your T b/c they will occasionally go away? Not clear on that. Either way though, that's all process. Don't try to picture the hotel you're going to stay in at the end of your trip, try looking out the car window and seeing where you are now. Sorry, bad methaphor. But the idea is to not worry about how someone else's situation is impacting them, not as a predictor of how you will do. Some things are pretty standard... to have therapy work well you need a good T-client bond.. when a T goes away you will feel some tension, more or less depending on a lot of factors. That kind of thing.
as far as babblers... just give and do what you can and no more, no less. It's ok to hold back when you can't be there for someone. There's no quota.
you didn't step in it doll... it's ok. No worries. The only thing i cannot take is agressiveness, no matter how it's sugar-coated. If you ever did upset me a little... i'd flit away and then come back when i got over it. You gotta do what you gotta do. If you need to step back from certain people for your own reasons at times, that's ok. i find it's a nice thing to do to just tell them you want to be supportive but can't right now... let's them know you're not avoiding them.
a really nice thing happened tonight too... i re-discovered my Lung ta (Tibetan prayer flags). Was fiddling around with the cover on my futon and discovered them under the mattress... i had put them there b/c they came rolled up and i wanted to flatten them... but forgot. So tomorrow i will hang those along my little balcony. They are so cheery.
thanks for taking the time Rk... i know you have a lot to deal with
poster:Dory
thread:787921
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070929/msgs/788015.html