Posted by happyflower on October 6, 2007, at 12:09:40
I hope it lasts. Finally the prozac is at it's full working stage and I think it is helping a lot, I have more energy and don't feel depressed. WOW! Big relief, I didn't even think I was that bad, but I guess I forgot what it feels like to feel good. I never wanted to be on drugs because somehow I thought it would show I was weaker mentally. But I think not being on drugs when you need them is a bigger sign of weakness. I hope it isn't forever, but if it is, it is still better than feeling depressed. Depression takes so much away from you.
I think I am processing all that happened with my old T, it really helps to be able to discuss this with someone. I think the reason my old T wasn't comfortable with me crying or feeling down because he wasn't being objective. His feelings for me got in the way of him being at a objective distance emotionally. I guess I can see this in hindsite.
My old T did want to know when my concert was, so I did call and left a message. I said I didn't know if he was still interested or not. I told him I am dedicating my solo to me privately and would love it if he came, but it was okay if he didn't.
Things are really looking up for me. I am just not used to good stuff happening to me. One of the professors asked me this week to be on his research team! It is on a subject I am interested in too. He said I will be able to present at the APA conventions plus get published first author! Which is huge for an undergrade. So I am excited about that.
Then I got my essay back in my writing class and got almost 100%. The prof. said that she never gives perfect soores, but I got the highest in 3 of her classes. She even asked if she could keep my paper! I was so surpried and flattered.I still have a ways to go to be operating at 100% or at least 90%, but finally I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I think my new T is really helping me and the good stuff I am doing feels good because I am getting positive reinforcement for it. It is rewarding to achieve stuff when you put so much effort into things. I am really feeling happy lately.
I am getting closer to my new real life friends too. Having friends help so much, sometimes better than therapy.
poster:happyflower
thread:787264
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070929/msgs/787264.html