Posted by muffled on September 25, 2007, at 21:53:25
Actually, had a really excellent session w/T.
She 'getting' it I think.
At one point I said I am stressed by emotions. And she say what is it thats most stressful, and finally i said, the ones that aren't mine are the worst cuz i don't understand.
She paused a bit, and I thot, OK, she gonna go on a tangent, but she GOT IT!
Can't remember her words, just I was SO happy she got it!!!!
AND at one point she asked if kid was a boy or girl! Its a girl.
Ohhhhhhh its SO GOOD to feel like she gets it some.
Its so hard to explain, and I am embarrassed so I don't say much bout it.
She sorta kinda tried to tell that kid a story, but kid weren't there.
T kept reminding me that we looking at stuff as a scientist, and that helped TONS. I even spoke some bout stuff.
Bad part of session was T wants me to consider meds :-(
I not been doing so good.
Then later she say, it would be nice if we could find a p-doc you could get along with OK,and that wasn.t too weird LOL! cuz then p-doc could do meds and stuff :-( :-(
But even tho she going away for 2 weeks, she say she not leaving me.
And she proly gonna lv me a voicemail, and she proly gonna phone 1x too.
She tried to intro me to one of her feloow T's in her practice saying as how he SO nice...I think she were trying to just sorta put it out there, that he there. Her message usu says he will cover for her when she is a way. I think mebbe she don't say much cuz then i get the dumpme thing.
My T being so nice.
It confuses me.
Makes my heart hurt.
I get confused.
I think I miss my T.
Like in a.......ewww........kinda I like her, sorta way.
Ewwww.....attach is scarey.
Not in just I NEED her sorta way.
And either way it sucks.
So we also talked bout parenting inside kid, and as how its just the same as IRL parenting, boundaries, Mom is boss,yuk..nurture stuff(I don't think so ), but anyways it was good.
It makes me feel safer to know T is out there somewhere.
And I feel more understood and not so crazy cuz my T is 'getting' my people.
My T stays calm. Though I think she still struggles w/the concept of 'people'. But she trying! I struggled too. Its pretty damn weird I guess. Though I used to how it feels, the concept is weird to me too.
My T is TOUGH, ha!
She not likely to dump me in a hurry I guess. I beleive her when she says this. I just don't really understand it. I guess I still figger i gonna push it too far and poof, she be gone.
I been screwing up some too :-(
I didn't tell T.
Though mebbe she has an idea, but not of what....
She said we goto have boundaries for kid, kid not hurt self.
But I dunno who doing this.
It might be me :-(
Cuz I way too scared, and I been having emots, and I just find them strange and I dunno what to do w/them.
My T lent me her DBT skills training manual to look at, says mebbe we can have structure and work on some of that stuff.
So I dunno how I feel.
I think I will have to seroquel for a bit :-(
I gain weight SO fast on it and it makes me tired :-(
And I already overweight.
Sucks.
M
poster:muffled
thread:785209
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070916/msgs/785209.html