Posted by arora on September 21, 2007, at 17:41:47
The above thread on Personality Disorder Tests made me remember the first time I took one of these, so I thought I'd share.
When I was about 14 years old, my parents decided to drag me off to see a child psychologist... (looking back now I can see that what was actually normal teenage rebellion was seen by them as dysfunctional and something to be controlled at all cost...*sigh*).
He had me sit down and do a VERY long personality test- it was about 3 pages, from what I can remember! and he did emphasise how important it was that I be TO-tally honest... and being the good little paranoid that I was, (expecting god to strike me dead at least several times a day for all my heinous crimes and assorted sins) I answered the questions truthfully.
Scattered throughout the questionnaire were several of the "Do you ever feel you are being watched?" and "Do you ever feel you are being followed" variety... now, naive as I was I still knew that ticking these boxes "Yes" would make me sound a little weird. But in my innocence I thought he would DISCUSS my answers with me.
Then, I could have told him.
About how my father would listen in on my phone conversations on the extension. About how someone who worked at my school would 'report' on me to my parents, (my father told me this- in case I was hanging out with the 'wrong' crowd). About how I was threatened with being 'sent away' (ie. reform school) if I didn't 'behave'. About how I felt like I was in a prisoner of war camp... all the time... the threat of physical violence was definitely a possibility. And my father never let me forget it. (I was self-harming quite a lot by now- I suppose it gave me some illusion of control over myself).
But noooo.... the psychologist sent the form away- to be analysed by a COMPUTER ! !
When the questionnaire came back the next week, he told me my results... I scored high in "Schizophrenic Tendencies"... well, that just did it. I knew ALL about schizophrenia- thanks to "Sybil" having been passed around my entire high school. Schizophrenics got LOCKED UP.
I spent the next four years thinking I was a complete nutcase: I was expecting to morph into Karen Valentine at any moment, and I was terrified, (reading "The Bell Jar" didn't help matters any, to say the least... electroshock therapy was next on the agenda, obviously).
Ooooh- i've just triggered myself- the heart's going pretty fast now, I remember that fear, but I'm gonna finish this....
Anyway, fast forward to university where I took basic psychology... (it wasn't part of my prerequisite studies- I was starting to try to figure out why I was so f**ked up!), and there I learned the 'key' symptoms of Schizophrenia- which included the "Feelings of being watched, and the feelings of being followed".
Duh-uh. Big light bulb goes off over arora's head.
SO- the moral of this story is to take questionnaires with a BIG grain o' salt... and I'm very pleased to say that little arora's evil inner child asserted herself, (thanks, Wednesday Addams) and she REFUSED to go back to the psychologist the next week. :-}
arora (damn'd- and proud of it!)
poster:arora
thread:784366
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070916/msgs/784366.html