Posted by RealMe on September 18, 2007, at 23:44:59
In reply to Losing my words, posted by Dinah on September 18, 2007, at 8:17:46
Yep; know what you mean about the speak softly; my T has to ask me to repeat myself, and funny thing is he starts getting softer and softer too, and so I have to ask him to repeat himself. Crap; does this mean I should be sitting even closer. ARRRGH. Or should I lie down. Nope, can't do that yet. I might start thinking about the sex thing and have to fly out of the room as fast as I can. YIKES!!!!
Seriously, though, what you say is true for all of us to a greater or lesser extent. I sure can't get emoitional in court when I am testifying. I darn well better be very rational. But if I am with someone, like that lady I was doing testing with today and have seen in the past week, I joked with her to help her relax; I am much more empatheteic and caring and when we had to make another appointment because we didn't get done today, I said something like, "Okay you're going to have to see the crazy lady again," and she started laughing and said,
"no I really like you." Times like that I miss therapy, but of course I would not do therapy with her that way; this is an evaluation, and I need to know how she can manage so I know what she needs. Lots of abuse in her history, worse than I have ever seen in anyone. And, she is cute as a button and now pregnant by the last abusive boyfriend. Sigh. Anyway, I am getting off point. I think the emotional/rational continuum is pretty normal, and it is a problem if someone is one or the other and does not recognize when they or others are one or the other or somewhere on the continuum.When a patient says to a therpist, for example, "I hate you; you are the meanst person in the world. You are never nice; you always say mean things" or some to that effect, and the therapist just says matter of factly; "okay, I am trying to understand how this is because last week you thought I was the most wonderful person in the world because I was so understanding and caring," etc. Patients then often say, "Oh go to hell." But, they are then confronted with how they can be caring and also hateful (within themself), and then they can also look at it rationally and say to themselves at some point. "HUm, my T is right or they might say, Hum, I never saw this before; I need to think about this; maybe other people are this way too"--part of the work with BPD. And, it works but takes time. I am not implying you are BPD but just using that as an example of what has to happen with someone who is becasue they are emotional and rational and irrational. I love working with people like that. I really do. It is very fulfilling to see someone change their personality structure over time. Okay I am rambling again and need to go to bed so I can get up at 4:15 a.m. UGGGH.
RealMe
poster:RealMe
thread:783692
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070916/msgs/783844.html