Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on September 2, 2007, at 16:00:43
In reply to Re: obsessing on therapy-me too » LlurpsieNoodle, posted by RealMe on September 1, 2007, at 22:33:34
> I know exactly what you mean, and I struggle with it all the time. Trying to control therapy, though, is no good.
>
I know. and trying to control myself is LIKE trying to control therapy, in that therapy is guided by myself. My T lets me go where I want to. Even when I was suicidal he didn't press me about how much, or how severe.> Friday, I started to talk about some stuff after spending half the session on work and politics. I started to talk about something and started to dissociate, and he was then asking questions to help me understand what I was really wanting back as a child. I never had a father and wanted a father who loved me and cared about me. Okay, so this led to other thoughts after I left, and I could not stop crying last night. Thoughts of how lonely and unhappy I was when I was growing up.
>
that sounds really tough. I don't think I could ever handle questions like that. I'd probably laugh nervously and walk out of the room.
> Point is my therapist said that I was going to feel worse for awhile and that stuff would bleed out of the sessions into my life outside of therapy, but over time I would be able to keep things contained within the sessions and go on with my life. I know this is true, as it is what happened when I was in therapy at Menninger's. Over time stuff (I am trying to be general) did not bleed out anymore. Maybe that is why I didn't want to delve into the other stuff when I was a postdoc.I got through a lot of hard stuff with my last T. Now life is not quite so triggering, and things seem more mellow. But I wish that I had more of a context to place my therapy. I keep on trying to fit it somewhere. Where I'm going - can't contemplate that. Where I'm from (can't talk about THAT because it's too nasty) I wonder and worry if quieT thinks that what happened to Llurpsie constitutes abuse. LasT was very clear on this and used the Ab-word a LOT, until it no longer caused me to pause at her and stare at the corner of the floor.
>
> What I am finding out is that no time is a good time. It just needs to be done or the alternative is to be depressed, anxious, and unhappy. Keeping it safe, well what is the point of therapy then.I guess I agree with you, but the scared part of me finds revealing vulnerabilities abhorrent.
It IS all very complicated.
-Ll
poster:LlurpsieNoodle
thread:780168
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070822/msgs/780398.html