Posted by RealMe on August 28, 2007, at 21:22:54
In reply to bad, sad therapy session, posted by widget on August 28, 2007, at 10:10:45
widget
I am sorry about your therapy session being so upsetting. I read and re-read what you wrote, and of course I wasn't there. Nevertheless, might you have misinterpreted something or things? Might you have read something into his responses that he did not intend? The reason I ask is becasue I do that, and as was pointed out to me here, I did misinterpret what my therapist meant the last session when he said, "you're just a person" after he said I was not a terrible person. This all happend as I was walking out the door.
I certainly empathize with you. Though our situations are not the same, today I went through something similar. I wanted to know why my therapist could say he does not like me, why he can say I am sweet (what is it with that word!!) and tender and all sorts of nice things, but he won't say if he likes me. So I put it to him today, and I told him is released from any obligation he might feel toward continuing with me. He said he doesn't want to stop seeing me. I then said if he doesn't like me I am not sure I want to see him and risk being hurt again. He then said he did not want to answer my question yet as he does not know enough yet what is behind this need I have for him to like me. I think to myself, "Oh for crying out loud." But then I thought about how I basically liked everyone I worked with when I did therapy, and I understand there is something likeable about everyone, some more than others. But I must have had a funny look on my face as my therapist said, "Forget about your head and all the things you tell yourself; what does your heart tell you?" I just stared at him and tried to get in touch with that, and he said looking very sad it seemed, you don't know anything in your heart? I tried some more to let go of my head trip, and then I looked at him and said, yes, I think you do like me, and he shook his head yes. I don't see this as being the end of things for me though. And likely I will start to have even stronger feelings, and then I tell him. I already know, and he knows I know that there will never be anything between us except therapy. Oh someday as I already did at a workshop when I first started seeing him, he was a presenter as was the doctor who is head of inpatient treatment at U of C. Very weird. But my T knew I was coming and had said good.
So, I am not sure why he had to add the boundary rules piece. I would be pissed about that too as I am sure you already knew about the boundaries. So I would want to know what that was about. I would write it all down, I would or else I would forget. Then, I would take it to therapy and ask for clarification and let him know I can't leap yet. Sounds like you are scared, and so he needs to help you with that and how come you are scared. Also is there some resistance on your part to get into some topic??? I really don't know, and am not really asking for a response. Just could that be true. I know for me I try to focus on other stuff to avoid the csa and other stuff. Just my thoughts. Toss them if they don't fit.
RealMe
(OzLand)
poster:RealMe
thread:779285
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070822/msgs/779412.html