Posted by sunnydays on August 20, 2007, at 21:44:02
I've been crying on and off all night and thought about calling the on call at my school (I didn't because I don't know what qualifies as an emergency and I didn't want to bother them). I'm not in any danger at all, just terribly sad and alone-feeling. I left a message for my T and I was hoping he would get it tonight, but I guess he won't. And I emailed him, and he should get that tomorrow.
We talked more about my mom. It was so hard. And then he had to change my appointment to a different day at the end of the session because he's going to the doctor and they're going to sedate him. So they can put a camera down his throat. And it's because he has stomachaches a lot. Of course he didn't realize it, but that has freaked me out completely that something serious will be wrong. I'm hoping it's just acid reflux or something.
And I figured out that a lot of my sadness is just wanting. Not wanting anything in particular, just a huge huge want. And my T said that it makes sense to him that I would just want. And that it's big. But I got really sad at one point, little girl-ish, and he was trying to keep me adult and he said, "Let's not go down that road," because I get terribly upset if I am feeling like the little girl. And now I feel like I'm not supposed to be sad.
And I'm just so sad.
sunnydays
poster:sunnydays
thread:777490
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070807/msgs/777490.html