Posted by Nathan_Arizona on August 2, 2007, at 17:10:49
Ah, it so seems to be the nature of the beast doesn't it.
I will fully admit that this fall is my fault - I quit taking my prozac, and now I sit here almost crying - a mound of work on my desk and a sadness in my heart that is overwhelming.
Fortunately, my mentors at work both suffer from illness (one physical, one mental) and they understand how much harder it is for us.
I know that this is transient, I know that this can and will be controlled, but it is hard.
On the other hand, it is like an old friend - this feeling and I welcome it back. I've learned to forgive myself the small stuff - forgetting meetings, not eating, memory loss, leaden paralysis, crying.
It is like a homecoming for me - after so long feeling good. I fight it, but this feels so normal to me.
I wonder if I stopped taking my meds so I could return to a feeling I know?
It's a tough call. The sleep is wonderful thing.
I'm meeting my boyfriend tonight for a sushi dinner and I will have to be the natie he knows - which I can do, but underneath there is the true natie- suppressed by medication and therapy, but always always there.
Wish me luck
N
poster:Nathan_Arizona
thread:773589
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070726/msgs/773589.html