Posted by Dinah on July 22, 2007, at 12:01:39
In reply to Too much missing, posted by annierose on July 20, 2007, at 15:14:13
I'm so sorry, Annierose. Losing someone you love, and then having to be a comfort for others without getting comfort yourself, that really is painful I'm sure.
I'm glad you were able to find your therapist's voice inside you.
I think there is truth in what your friend said. But it's a different sort of truth than what you're dealing with now. My therapist gives me leave to call him at least in part because he knows that the knowledge that I can call him will comfort me, help me feel like he's not gone, and will lead be to feel less distressed and so call him less.
But that doesn't mean he doesn't want me to call him when I need, or even want, to call him. It just means he doesn't want me to need to call him because I feel he's not there.
When my father died, my therapist was very open to taking phone calls. And if I remember correctly, didn't your therapist especially invite you to call her? Wasn't she concerned about the timing of all of this?
She didn't give you her phone number so you wouldn't call her. She gave you her phone number because she wants to be there for you in whatever way she can be.
If you've internalized her enough to not need to call her, that's great - in terms of you and your progress. But if you need to call her and she's given you permission, believe that it's because she really does care. (How could she not after all this time?)
(((Annierose)))
poster:Dinah
thread:770764
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070714/msgs/771126.html