Posted by muffled on July 3, 2007, at 23:27:11
In reply to F*ck this anxiety sh*t.*trigger*, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on July 3, 2007, at 22:07:37
> The 3 musketeers. Dissociation, Depersonalization, Panic.
>
> I haven't been able to go to the movies in over a year without one of them showing up.
>
> Is it just any intense experience? Is it something specific that the movie triggers (I HATE THAT wORD)? Is it learned by now after so many times of "let's go to the movies and see what happens"*I just don't like sitting in the dark surrounded by strangers with the music too loud and god knows WHAT under my feet....
If I had to go, i'd want an edge seat for easy egress..
I don't goto movies, by choice fortunately. I just don't like it.
>
> All I want is the normal stuff. The big summer blockbuster, the enjoyment of big fireworks. I'd even settle for not being afraid of new neighbors. Sideways edgy glances when I dare to step out and walk half a block to the bench by the pond. To watch some dragonflies and birdies. Worried about what people think of me. Will they know? The ugly stuff? Read in my eyes the fear? Will they know that I'm scared even in the midst of [because of?] safety?**Good questions. This is a CBT exercise just WAITING to happen...(ya, you can smack me now)
>
> This stuff never bothered me before. Not to panic, anyways. Out of body. Out of my F*cking mind.**I find xanax is my fav in these situ...
You still settling into your new reality, give yoursaelf some time....?
>
> I don't know which is worse- the dissociation that yields to the feeling of losing time... trance. The depersonalization- like I'm in this body far far away without any control over my own limbs, without any recognition of my own self. The panic that makes my face hot, my throat choking itself. The consequences of all three of these. Coping mechanisms that create more problems than they solve.**for me SOMEtimes, I can kinda get into the fact that I'm 'tripping' and its free.....and I can get quite floaty and weirded, but not in a bad way. I can only do this sometimes. Other than that its either curling up, xanax, or sometimes I just leave and someone else magically gets what needs to be done done. Its a wonder really.
Yeah, sometimes 'grounding' just further freaks me, cuz it makes me realize how far gone I am...
Relax breathing freaks me cuz it puts focus on my body...WHO'S body???...body?...breathing?...where am I? who's breathing?...and , you get the pic....
>
> Is this EVER going to go away? I hate this. I'm going to go into hiding now. stay in bed away from sharp implements. what a waste I am.so sad so self-hating. nausea.**I dunno LL. Seems you been doing good work. Seems it ought to go away or ease up eventually. I mostly just go with the tried and TRUE, "this will pass, emotions pass..etc"
Again(CBT), mebbe you could write down these negative statements, and when you calmer, refute them, as they are untrue.(you just gonna have to trust me here...)
And try not to hurt yourself.
You WILL come back.
You been hurt enuf already.
The feelings WILL ease up.
You OK LL. It just feels so overwhelming and consuming feeling the way you wrote at the time....but it gets better, really it does.
You doing OK.
Just takes time.
Its hard.
But you can do it and so can I.
Get thru to the next better time.
M
>
> yes. I took a f*cking klonopin. no. i did not drink a beer. no i don't ask for help. husband can tell though. hovering. in a good way.**I don't ask for help either...
Babbling is good too.
M
poster:muffled
thread:767497
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070628/msgs/767519.html