Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on June 30, 2007, at 16:28:54
In reply to Re: my last session with newT » LlurpsieNoodle, posted by DAisym on June 30, 2007, at 15:19:41
I guess I'm not really feeling sad yet. Only for a little while on Wed night before my last session, and at the beginning of our last session. She helped me get perspective on some of the big themes we talked about. The important stuff. I guess it's a good sign that what I consider important she considers/ed important too. We were on the same page for the big stuff, and most of the small stuff too. One exception- she accepted me more than I would accept myself. Loved me for who I am, not who I should be.
Mostly just numb. It hits me sometimes though. So many reminders. I just want to stay busy busy bee, yet so tired inside. I let my cat out to enjoy the nice weather, and he didn't come back when I called him. I looked all around, and still didn't see him. He showed up 2 hours later with cobwebs in his whiskers, exhausted and happy to see me. I was afraid I had lost him.
I can't find a broom anywhere, and I'm sick of washing dishes by hand. I want to plant some herbs, but the final load of stuff hasn't arrived.
Waiting, and I don't have my box of craft supplies with me. I got a package yesterday, the first mail I've gotten at my new place. It was a box from my aunt, who knows my family better than my mom does. Sent me a package with two thoughtful and delightful books, some relaxing bath salts, a flowered blue jaquard robe for lazy days (with pockets), godiva truffles, and some herbal tea for "wise women".I took a walk today, just down the block. Sat on a bench for about 3 minutes and then came back home. Played the 2nd mvmt of Tchaik Violin Concerto. Made a salad. ate some blueberries and yogurt. Lay down on the couch in the sunroom for an hour.
Still waiting. For what?
I asked newT if it would be okay if I sent her letters every once in a while to tell her how I'm doing. She looked really happy and said she'd really like that. I added the disclaimer that I wouldn't write to her in the middle of a crisis or anything. I guess knowing that I have some tiny thread of contact with her feels reassuring.
-Ll
poster:LlurpsieNoodle
thread:766534
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070628/msgs/766914.html