Posted by Wittgenstein on June 25, 2007, at 3:35:39
I haven't been on Babble for some weeks - when things go bad I retreat into myself. There's been such a mix of feelings going on, I can't put my finger on it.
I've been in T for about 2 months now. I think it's going well but I think I've reached a brick wall. The trust issues are building up and it's making me feel awful - choking. Perhaps T is serving as a microcosm for my life as a whole. I don't know. This horrible feeling really sucks though - it's like I'm mourning - a deep throbbing pain inside that I have to carry with me all the time - it's exhausting.
At the same time, I find I'm missing my T - I'm becoming attached to him but feel confused about how I really feel about him and am worried what he makes of it - that he might jump to the wrong conclusions (although I don't know what the right conclusions are). I feel so vulnerable in this situation. I guess this is all part of the course but is there anyway to ease this pain?
Ok, this is a bit of a blabbering post (sorry) I just needed to share. I hope you're all doing ok out there - I'll come on Babble chat again soon :)
One last thing... of those of you who have done T sitting up and on the couch (lying down) - are there any big differences between the two? I'm thinking of asking to use the couch instead of sitting. I'm finding it so hard to relax, I wonder whether lying might be easier - or does it make you feel even more self-conscious?
Anyway, bye for now fellow-Babblers.
Witti :)
poster:Wittgenstein
thread:765576
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070612/msgs/765576.html