Posted by Nathan_Arizona on June 12, 2007, at 16:46:48
In reply to *Trigger *questions Lots of mother triggers, posted by Happyflower on June 12, 2007, at 14:26:32
I had a crappy mom growing up and a violent father. Did you mother ever actually shoot at you? Well, mine did. It's beyond horrible, it's beyond outrageous, it's just simply reprehensible to do that to a child.
In my opinion, it's something you never get over - no matter what anyone else ever says, you never get over it. It is built into the fiber of who you are just as much as your blood type.
But what you can do is learn to live with it. NOt push it down and pretend it never happened, but to come to terms with it, accept it is there and carry it with you.
You can also learn HOW that fiber of your being is affecting your life now and develop working strategies to stop living like an abused person, and take control of your own life.
I spent a lot of time just sort of "locked" in the abuse. I'll never forget the day it dawned on me that I could control my own life and choose how I handled things. It was an epiphany.
Yeah, it sucks really bad that we have to play this hand that we are dealt. Yeah it sucks really bad that most people simply do not have the CAPACITY to even fathom what we lived through or how it affects is now.
But, in my opinion, the bottom line is that (as unfair it is) it is our responsiblity to deal with it.
I also think that we have a very clear choice into whether we let that abuse continue to define our lives, or whether, as adults, we grab hold of our lives and begin to live for ourselves.
When you are out the petitioning for sympathy and compassion (as I'm sure you are aware) that is REALLY hard to come by and it is the rare person that knows - and I mean really knows.
But I do. And I'm sorry the road in front of you is so long, but it isn't a dead end.
love & take care
poster:Nathan_Arizona
thread:762676
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070612/msgs/762709.html