Posted by gazo on May 20, 2007, at 10:31:53
as some of you know, my T is away on vacation. i am very sad about that.. :o( i need him right now. i don't have a super-strong attachment built yet, but it was getting there. i think his being away will set that back a bit.. i know myself enough to know he'll have to rebuild some stuff.
the voicemail thing went ok.. but it's deliberate, so it's a little weird. He had never done that before for someone and he is a very kind of responsive guy.. he found it a little hard to just make something up. He just doesn't know me well enough maybe... he has only ever once seen me anxious enough for him to visually tell and he has never seen me so overwhelmed that it spills over my walls you know?
thing is though... i phoned him the last day and i asked him a question, something important to me.. i asked him about something that i lose sight of when things are hard, my internal compass disappears... and he responded to that question in a voicemail that was PERFECT. It gave me the tool i need. The words are an affirmation of validation i can hold onto, and his voice and flow are the natural way he speaks... and the bonus is that is has some of that tone i wanted. i needed there to be some of that soft, soothing tone to comfort my emotional side.
so i skip the one he left before and listen to that one.
a lot of you know life is a little more than complicated for me right now. Events dreaded are here for real. No idea how things will unfold. Escape & avoid.
needing lots of good vibes
poster:gazo
thread:758367
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070505/msgs/758367.html