Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on May 11, 2007, at 14:44:15
Okay, so I told T that I wasn't doing so well at feeding myself. She asked if it was anxiety. I guess it is, because it feels different than the anhedonic not eating of last year.
So... she suggested some relaxation visualization techniques.
****warning long**** but pleasantokay the standard progressive relaxation, like Shavasana from Yoga stuff. I am so anxious that it was really really hard to let go.
next I was to visualize this little girl and that I need to take care of this wonderful little girl, and how she needs a nutritious breakfast (on and on about the happy cows giving happy milk for cereal) and then little girl goes to school.
Little girl, by the way is cute. Kind of looks like my little girl will look (if I ever have one). Very cute. so far so good.
Then we meet up for lunch, and we share lunch. What does little girl like for lunch. maybe PB&J, maybe a big salad with healthy greens and fresh produce.
Then little girl runs off and plays all afternoon and she needs a snack sometime. I picture her running up to me, breathless- saying "I'm hungry, can I have an apple?" and I give her one.
Then I have to think about dinner. Little girl gets home and she needs quality food. some veggies, some protein, some carbohydrates, because it has to last a long time before breakfast.
Right about now I start to feel anxious. What if I can't take care of little girl? what if I fail her? What if? But I think of her cute face, and her silly little kid teeth, and I know that it's up to me. I HAVE to take care of her.
Then little girl and I get to have a scoop of ice cream before bedtime.
Then backwards counting and poof! what? am I supposed to feel like a new person or something?
I told T that I was scared about taking care of little girl. but then I remembered her, and smiled, and thought about how nice it would be to tuck her in at night, knowing that I had taken good care of her (us) that day.
And that little girl is inside of me, or at least we have regular br/lu/din/snack dates. This part I'm fuzzy about. She doesn't look like I looked when I was her age (about 7). She seems bubbly and confident. I hope my little girl (if I ever have one) will be like her. knobby knees and goofy little kid teeth.
Well, I have been trying my best to keep my promise to little girl. In fact, she's about to come in from playing and will want a tangerine, I suspect. Good thing I bought five of them this morning.
I wonder if little girl likes to take bubble baths before bedtime? or if she likes to write in hello kitty journal like I do? I wonder if she's athletic, or creative, or musical, or whatever. I guess we have to get to know each other first.
I never had an imaginary friend before...
-Ll
poster:LlurpsieNoodle
thread:757816
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070505/msgs/757816.html