Posted by wishingstar on April 27, 2007, at 12:38:43
In reply to Re: I'm back » wishingstar, posted by Honore on April 27, 2007, at 11:29:46
I dont know. I went to the DBT thing and halfway through the intake I mentinoed having a T and she looked confused and said "so why are you here?"... she didnt even know I was there for dbt.. she thought i was there for regular therapy intake. I figured they knew what they were interviewing me for, since they didnt ask, you know? Supposedly the case manager at the hospital made the apt and told them that, and told them of my financial probs and they said theyd talk to me about it.. I told her about the financial stuff and she had me talk to the receptionist about the financial assistance through the hospital and she said I needed to go to the business office over there. Why didnt anyone tell me that BEFORE I waited a week for that appt today? She said "its only $40 a session" and then looked at my like I was crazy when I said I couldnt afford that. Thats why they were supposed to work with me! And then the counselor lady I'd talked to for an hour about how bad things were just said come back if I think I want to do it later on. Well hello, why do you think I was there to begin with! I cant afford it, they obviously think I'm wacky and dont want me there. It's not happening. She didnt even explain how it works to me or anything other than "its a group". Great. Whatever.
The thing is.. most of the good things that happened this week were mostly related to my feeling hopeful about finally finding a new program. I'm glad ginny and I are bonding again and thats definitely important but not enough to make a significant difference right now. I can barely make it day to day, and week to week is just not happening.
caraher and I, far as I can tell, arent friends anymore. that doenst help how im feeling. (thats NOT me talking bad about him so please dont PBC me.)
I think I;ve really run out of options in this area. Given the work I do, I'm pretty familiar with the services around here. There is another DBT group but it'd require me to quit with Ginny and its also held at a place I used to work, so I dont really want to do that. I probably do need to move to a bigger city, but my lease wont end until August so no way itll happen before then.
Even aside from the issue of making it in the long term, I dont know how to make it moment to moment. I'm supposed to see a client at 3:30. I'm going to have to quit this job. I'm just going to have to. No way around it. I cant do it.
I'm sorry I ramble so much. I just feel like I've tried everything.. and I'm just getting worse and worse. And I've lost my major supports. And I just have nothing left to lose.
poster:wishingstar
thread:753142
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070419/msgs/753967.html