Posted by Daisym on April 17, 2007, at 12:05:46
In reply to Re: Looooooonely....... I'm Dr Looooooonely » pegasus, posted by gardenergirl on April 17, 2007, at 10:36:51
I feel a little bit like I hi-jacked this thread - sorry zaza...
I had the opportunity to talk with one of my teachers, who happens to be THE leading researcher in infant/parent mutual regulation about this, as well as my own therapist yesterday. My therapist said, "you know better, but I thought the message was cute. I just couldn't tell if you were upset and needed me to remind you that I hold you in my mind, or if you knew that and were just touching base to confirm it." -- Interpret this as, "be clear about what you need from me..."
My instructor said that deep therapy is therapy both ways. So if we put clients away, we are refusing to learn from them, and to allow the mutual regulation that is needed in any relationship to happen. That means disconnecting, reconnecting, setting up cues, reading cues, etc. We had this great lunch-time conversation about therapy frequency, etc. He is older but said he would love to have the opportunity to do a 5-day a week analysis again, because he thought the experience was so amazing, even as it was painful around the attachment issues.
I was very glad to hear him say that and it made me think of the time my therapist said he saw a big yellow hummer with the license plate "Daisy" on the back. He said he thought of me. Now there's a cue!!
We are supposed to talk about loneliness and happiness today - he said "there is this deep ache in the bottom of your soul that keeps coming up in here. We probably should talk about it." :( I'd rather debate theory.
poster:Daisym
thread:749499
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070406/msgs/750677.html