Posted by Iwillsurvive on April 5, 2007, at 0:34:52
In reply to iwillsurvive..., posted by littleone on April 4, 2007, at 16:16:30
> Hey iwillsurvive (yes, you will!)
**Hey littleone, been thinking of you lots as I struggle with all inside.
>
> You’ve done so well during your T’s break. I know you’ve struggled a bit lately. I know when my T goes away I have to be on a constant vigil of my internal state. Constantly ready to put out fires. Constantly trying to balance things (like feeling/cutting off/expressing/hiding/blowing up/falling in the pit/etc) to maintain what I hope is the best and safest way to be. It’s so very hard and tiring and draining. Very hard work.*It is hard work. Trying to figger out WTF is going on. Days get all chopped up and confusing. I was reading journal writings and its pretty wacked at times. Kinda freaky...I STILL have part of mt that denys....
>
> You sound like you’ve coped really well this time. Lots better than previous times. If you are struggling a lot now, just remember that this was an extra looonnnnnnnggggggg break that your T has taken. Much longer than previous breaks. And look how well you’ve done. You must have learnt a lot of things and now have more tools available in your coping toolbox. And you’ve come a long way with learning to deal with feelings. The way you’ve coped with this break is testament to all of these things you’ve learnt.*thank you for that Littleone. I agree. I wrote that too in my journal, been giving myself lotsa pats on the back.
>
> You’ve taken some big steps forward.
>
> I think you only have about a week left? I know a week can take forever to pass. But you’re 5/6th’s of the way through now.*yup, almost got my backup person back. Feels safer when she around. Just in case I get too lost, she could mebbe help me find my way back.....
>
> I know it can be scary to think about trying to see your T again when her break is finished. But I can tell you now that she will be there for you like she always has. She will be the same as she always was. She won’t be different. She won’t feel differently about you. She’ll still care about you and will be pleased to see you (I know that can be scary too).*EXACTLY what I needed to hear. I will write this down on a paper and read it when I go back to T.
Part of me is quite secure w/T, but part of me freaking out some. Part of me mad at her...> Just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone on the path.
>
*THANK YOU. And neither are you.
Howsit going for you?
Right now I am struggling with denial of parts and am being smacked over and over and over again w/proof that they ARE. But I STILL try and deny. And part of me knows they ARE, but part of me says NO, I just being stupid. Sigh.
poster:Iwillsurvive
thread:746948
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070324/msgs/747117.html