I'm a bad person, I feel a little jealous

Posted by Deneb on April 3, 2007, at 23:15:38

Reading about someone going to the hospital makes me wish I could go too. Am I crazy or what? I get jealous of the attention someone in distress gets. I'm a horrible, terrible person. It makes me want to act out.
I'm personality disordered. I hate myself. How can I be worried and care about a person and yet be somewhat jealous of them at the same time?
This jealously makes me wish I were suicidal again. I'm messed up. I yearn for attention and caring responses.
I'm writing about this in an effort to stop myself from wanting to be in crisis again. I'll admit that I write this to try to get some attention. I don't want to get attention by writing I'm going to hurt myself so I'm writing about wanting attention and being jealous.
I hope I don't upset anyone with my post. This is entirely my problem and doesn't have to do with anyone else.
Deneb*

Thread

I'm a bad person, I feel a little jealous Deneb 4/3/07
Re: I'm a bad person, I feel a little jealous » Deneb Honore 4/3/07
Re: I'm a bad person, I feel a little jealous » Deneb sleepygirl 4/3/07
Re: I'm a bad person, I feel a little jealous Deneb 4/3/07
Re: I'm a bad person, I feel a little jealous Deneb 4/4/07
Above for Honore and sleepygirl respectively ^^^ (nm) Deneb 4/4/07
You are a growing person Dinah 4/4/07
Re: You are a growing person Iwillsurvive 4/5/07

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