Posted by Poet on March 18, 2007, at 18:16:41
In reply to Re: Handling Rejection Poet, posted by antigua on March 18, 2007, at 10:05:01
Hi Antigua,
You are absolutely right that my work identity is tied up with my self worth. I started seeing my therapist to help myself deal with failure, and here I am four years later still working on self-worth and failure/rejection.
T has said many times she wishes I could base my self-esteem on other things and she's had me tell her things I do well, but it just doesn't stick. My brain goes right back to job that uses my brain=self-esteem.
I'm sorry you're having trouble getting freelance work. I don't understand why your pdoc thought it's narcisstic to think that you deserved to get the job you were up for. To me, it's positive thinking, not inflated ego thinking.
You wrote: But why do we identify so much with work? Why does it really matter so much what others think of us? Why do we feel we have so much to prove? Because nobody would listen to us when we were children and being so ignored and abused? I don't know.
Really good questions, I'm going to print them out and ask my T. It very much matters to me what others think of me. I was devistated when a (since she said it former) friend instantly said *what did you do* when I told her I was fired from my last job. Like I wasn't already blaming myself when I really wasn't to blame.
Thanks for undestanding the why I think, I wish we both understood why we think this way. Sigh. Big sigh.
Poet
poster:Poet
thread:741800
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070309/msgs/742000.html