Posted by youngaddict on February 4, 2007, at 21:20:00
oh god oh god oh god
i still haven't been back to see my T and i miss her terribly and everyday i think about her and "talk" to her in my head.. tell her what i am feeling, etc... what i think is wrong with me, etc..
and i want to go back because i know i am drowning. but i just feel myself getting deeper and deeper into this hole.
my roomate said yesterday (and she knows me really well as much as i hate that she knows that much about me) that i don't ask for help ever and i resist help at all cost and i wonder why. anytime i start to feel anything at all i reach for the bong or pills. or i sleep. i have to go back to work tomorrow and i know i am on harrisons shitlist but what can i do? i literally was sick physically last week and totally f*cking mentally as well.
i guess i am posting because i am depressed but am too scared to go back to my t because i disapointed her or worse yet she feels nothing at all about my little stint of canceling and then calling her and telling her i was planning my funeral. and then canceling apointments again.
what do you guys think?
poster:youngaddict
thread:729807
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070203/msgs/729807.html