Posted by wishingstar on January 22, 2007, at 22:44:44
In reply to Got a letter from Anne, posted by wishingstar on January 22, 2007, at 19:07:10
Thank you both. It seems dumb that I STILL let her effect me, even after all this. I completely agree - shes terrible and a jerk and really incompetent in some ways (in my opinion anyway). It shouldnt hurt like this. But I guess I'm still holding on to some tiny hope that she'll extend some kindness or caring towards me.
And good point therapygirl. To say anything about my new T forces her to be aware that she failed. I hadnt thought of that. I hope she is aware and I hope it bothers her. But I doubt it does. I dont think she admits it to herself that she had any part in this. I admit that I had a part - I mean, this wasnt ALL her - why cant she?
There is just so much going on right now. I was doing SO well, and then got sick and BAM. Each crash hurts a little more I think. I start to get a little hope back, and kaboom. Now I remember why I dont let myself do that. Anne is just the icing on top right now. The nasty banana flavored icing. Yuck.
I just need a hug and a good cry I think. Camp comfort is open all year round, right? I'd like a big bed with lots of fluffy down blankets and the ability to cry out all of this. And someone to sit by me and stroke my hair and say it's going to be okay. Sometimes it doesnt feel like it ever will be.
Thank you for reminding me again that she isnt worth this. I know it seems repetative, but I guess it helps to hear it. Of course I'll talk to Ginny about it tomorrow. Thanks.
She really is mean and uncaring, right? This isnt my fault? I'm not bad? I did okay? (If I could use tiny 4pt type for that, I would have). Rhetorical questions.
poster:wishingstar
thread:725363
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070119/msgs/725446.html