Posted by Scentedgarden on January 12, 2007, at 18:52:09
In reply to Re: after first appt of the year i feel like im dy » Scentedgarden, posted by muffled on January 11, 2007, at 21:42:35
thank you muffled, how am i going to go my next appt and face her.?
im doing it gradually and easing off from weekly through fortnightly...onto monthly...
next time is the last fortnightly...but i dont know exactly how many i will have after that..we have discussed the end for more thsn a year and neither of us bothered to take it seriously..we just jept going...
its diff to explain... as there are some things i cant say on here..nothing bad just too personal for me to share..as i feel i have already said enough and take n way too much of your lovely preciousness and your time...!!!
thank you so much for your prayer for me on my behalf...of course God will listen to you, and he always does...its easy just talk o him mlike a child...we all come to hime as children...thats how he likes it...so God would really like the child in you thst i gather you dont think anyone else likes..!
thank you for caring muffled...thank you so much...
if i ever feel i can be safe to open up more i maybe will..but i think what im going through is enough to explain without adding in a few mor elements to confuse the issue even more...
as it is you concern and care towards me is very lovely and touching , and im just crying my eyes ourt as i type this now...
plewase know im so gateful you are there...
and please know that i dont really know where all that stuff came from about me ...i am probably angry though and so im maybe being passively aggressive by anting to tell her how im nothing and she should see beter patients than me, as all i do is cause her hassle...
i jump about in sessions,, and i just dont act like a normal patient she tols me know one she sees says the things to her i say...or does the things to her i do...
anyway i stopped crying now... its one in the morning here on saturday morning...i gonna try resting...
oh muff, im so glad youre there and you care...
thank you ..! thankyou..!!!ssssoooooo much
you take care of yourself too please..
and God bless you.SG
p.s. donty worry about being annoyed with God he's deff big enough to take it all, and still love you more than you know..I sometimes shout too at him, but not out of irreverence...just frustration...when im at my end...but mnot this time..
this feels as if my guts are in agony..the pain is physically agonising...it has eased a little today...but it still there...i managed a little food as well earlier...
i cant describe tha pain...but its sharp and constant and i know it's emotioanl...it's right at the core of my being..the epi centre of my spirit so to speak right inside my guts where the spirit of a man/woman lives...
do you get my drift?
i dunno if you do, but im glad youre there.. and you care... and your honest.. and you share.....
HOW AM I GOING TO GO AND SEE HER NEXT APPT..??
WE ARE GOING TO DECIDE THE FINAL DATES...!!I COULDNT FO IT LAST TIME AS I WAS SO TIRED FROM OTHER THINGS GOING ON I COULDNT NEGOTIATE WITH HER..SO I MANAGED TO CONVINCE HER TO SORT IT LATER...BUT SHE SAID SHE WOULD HAVE THEM BY THEN, AND I SAID SO WHATS THE POINT ..IF YOU ALREADY WILL HAVE DECIDED...SHE SAID SHE WONT HAVE DECIDED...SO I FEEL IF I GET MYSELF TOGETHER AND WRITE TO HER AS I OFTEN TO ...I CAN NEGOTIATE A BRETTER WIND DOWN LENGTH OF TIME...
OH MY GOD I KNOW IF SHE READ THIS SHE WOULD KNOW ITS ME....BUT SJRE WONT WATSE HER TIME ON HERE..
GOOD NIGHT MUFF...
from scentedgarden x
poster:Scentedgarden
thread:720991
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070103/msgs/721797.html