Posted by jammerlich on November 20, 2006, at 22:55:03
I am so ambivalent about therapy right now and it is very, very painful. I don't want to talk about things or problem solve or even feel better right now. I just want to be held and loved and have it be okay to be exactly where I am, with no expectation for change. I don't want it from my T though. Well, maybe I do. I just want her to offer it; I don't want to put myself out there and ask. I'm afraid to and of the rejection. I want her to be close, but I want her a hundred miles away at the same time.
I don't want to go in there tomorrow morning and talk about the hard stuff. NO!!! And I don't want to have to tell her I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to go. Ever. I shouldn't have let her see the writing. Why did I ask whether she'd read it? Why didn't I just leave well enough alone?
Would it be so horrible if I no-showed tomorrow? I could call in the morning and cancel, I suppose; but I don't want to talk to ANYBODY, not even the secretary.
poster:jammerlich
thread:705705
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061109/msgs/705705.html