Posted by SatinDoll on November 14, 2006, at 14:04:40
Okay this will probably be a long post, so relax and have a cup of beverage of your choice! LOL
Well I walk into his private waiting area today, normally I sit down relax and get my self ready. Well maybe it was due to being the first session of the day, but when I went to sit down (was turned away from his door), he comes out and says "No waiting today!" and I must have jumped 2 feet in the air ! While I was jumping I let out a ssshhhhhhh*tttttttttt! Normally I don't swear in real life, but I did it without even thinking. What a way to start a session, getting the crap scared out of you!
Oh, by the way he was way dressed up, he looked so good. He had on black pants, a grey sweater with a black suit coat, which he took off for my session, but he looked so fine!
Well anyways we talked alot about college and degrees to get, master and phd programs, etc. He gave a lot of good information I can use for my future.
I told him about the english comp placement exam I had to take this weekend because my SAT scores are too old to count for my degree to test out of it. Well on this test we have a choice of 2 situations we can write our essays about.
Well I told him that I had chosen the well known psycholoist one where he talked about increased self esteem when taking chances later in life. Well as it turned out, my T wrote that question for the exam! His wife is a english comp. teacher at my college, and he helped her come up with a good essay question for this test several years ago. There are about 10 different ones that they rotate and I just happened to pick the one that he wrote! Now what a coinceidence! For of all to actually get the one that had his question on it, and to pick that paticular one. Now that is freaky wild!
Well this brought up a good discussion about me going back to school in spite of not having any support from the DH, inlaw, parents, etc. He told me he really admired my courage for doing that, that I am going up against a lot more than any typical beginning freshman , and I am being successful too. Then he adds, I am paying you a compliment. Then I asked, are you saying that to make sure I am taking what he is saying the right way, and he said "Yes". (refering to the last couple of sessions)
We talked a lot about my marriage and current situations of my DH interviewing for a job that is several states away. We talked about the studies of children in divorse situations, and the effect of that. I also brought up something he didn't even think about. And that is what would my mom do if she found out I was divorced and how she might start coming around. I heard through the extended family grapevine that is is wondering if my DH it the reason for me not having a relationship with her. Well staying married does give me some protection from my mother. Well it was a factor we haven't discussed before. We talked about ways to protect my kids if my DH says bad things about me, etc.
I told him living in this situation is harder than I thought it would be. I always thought my DH was a nice guy, but boy can he be hurtful torwards me, even if I try to put up a safe wall around me. I thought that the living in the abusive conditions that I have at home as a child, I could now handle any living condition. But I just don't know now, because it is so hard.
We talked about how attached my kids are to me and my DH and the impact it would have on my kids to lose one of us from their everyday life. I told him I just can't do that to my kids, I just can't put my happiness above theirs. I really am trying to be civil torwards my DH, but I can't control what he does. So he gave a lot of advice on how to handle some of those situations.
Then last but not least we talked about termination. Yeah, that icky subject. Well he told me that we didn't have to terminate cold turkey, that we can gradually do it over the span of a year or so. I told him that right now I probably needed to increase my session while my life plan is still in the air. So we are going for every 10 days through the holidays at least, and until my life settle down some. So that takes some of my anxiety away for now. He talked about how I know most of his bags of tricks he has has a therapist, but he can see using him as a support figure to try to sort out different situations, is still a good thing, but he is concerned about the money since my sessions will not be covered by my insurance anymore especially next year. So SatinDoll is in the haul for another year!
So that is what we ended talking about, we covered a lot in a short time period plus I feel better, I felt like he truly cares about me. :-)
So I am happy I see him again next week, and that the end of the year is not the end relationship yet.
poster:SatinDoll
thread:703398
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061109/msgs/703398.html