Posted by SatinDoll on November 4, 2006, at 18:54:06
In reply to Re: I am losing myself » SatinDoll, posted by muffled on November 3, 2006, at 10:37:46
I am in a hole right now, not good at reasoning. I have been sleeping a lot, my body just aches. Normally I got a emotionally eating, but now I am emotionally NOT eating, not even hungry at all.
I listen to the CD's my T burned for me and it just makes me cry. But it doesn't help that all the lyrics are about crying it seems (moody blues, like, Isn't Life Strange. ) I need him right now, Monday is too far away.
But I am kinda scared of seeing him too. He thinks I have been critical of him( I don't know why, asking him if he fell on his head that day and bumped his head, asking if he was playing the role of incompetent therapist at Hallween (my appointment day), or was it just a damn test) LOL Okay, not really funny but he truely annoyed me last week, and I told him that too when he called me back.
He said he appolizeses for making me feel like my marriage problems are my fault and that I need to work harder. Okay yeah right, we have to talk about all the damn choices, right, like grin and bear it, divorse, or working it out. Well when I come in and say I had a horrible weekend because my DH totally emotionally ripped into my *ss, well that isn't the time for my T to say, hey , do you think you might be able to work it out!!!!!!!! F*ck that!
He is lucky all I said to him was "did you fall on your head", I could of said much worse, that little p*cker! Then he says my messages were very critical, well f*ck YEAH where did he get that brillant idea from? he can put that in his pipe and smoke it"!
Well I am going to tell him just how much I feel he is being critical of me lately. Yeah, I am going to lay it out on the table!
Oh, yeah, he also said I wasn't transperent, drew a little chart , said I was uninhibided but not transparent (I leave people guessing). Well he thought he was giving me a compliment, he says he is "atypical" personality too. That at least it isn't boring. Well I guess I took it wrong because I told him how dare him critique me on my social style , when A. he doesn't socialize with me and B. he doesn't talk about me to people I socialize with. He couldn't understand why I got offended with him calling my not transparent, when most people would be offended if you told them that they were. AAAUUUGGHHH!
Well I guess not all was wasted on that session, he did give me 5 min of good advice for my son, and talked me out of trying LSD, just because my Adnormal Psy. teacher made it sound so cool and fun. But my T said "mushrooms" would be less of a trip for a shorter time and less risky. Okay , so what kind do you try, moral, button, or shitake? LOL Don't worry I am going to do this.
So sorry about my rant, but I am ranting as much about my T as I love him, as much as I am hurting , as much as I am so damn sad. I am not doing too good at life at the moment. I feel like telling the world to "bite me"!
poster:SatinDoll
thread:699974
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061026/msgs/700406.html