Posted by wishingstar on October 30, 2006, at 7:06:18
In reply to I usually trust my T, but lately - I don't know., posted by madeline on October 30, 2006, at 6:34:38
I dont have long to respond because I'm off to the day program again in a few minutes (ugh) but...
First of all, I'm so sorry to hear about your bad situation with the now-ex. Even without the details, it sounds like it was very hurtful.
About contacting him though... I once heard a quote that said something like "you never put in to relationships more than you can afford to lose". And I think it's true. I wonder if maybe your body is just telling you, not yet madeline. I dont say that to mean that you couldnt handle whatever did or didnt happen.. but sometimes we just need to protect ourselves, and I dont think theres anything wrong with that. If you're sure that all youll get is more hurt in trying to contact him again, then in my opinion, youre right not to want to yet. I'd imagine the hurt from the breakup is still very very fresh.
On the other hand, I do see your Ts point about closure. I think closure can be very important, but only when youre ready for it. Even if it's not today, there may be a day when you want to deal with him more directly over this issue.. but even if there's not, that's okay too.
You say your gut is always wrong, but I dont know. You know yourself best. Your T is an expert at working with peoples feelings, but still, theyre your feelings and only you can really know what is best for you in the long run. You're the one that will have to deal with the consequences outside the therapy hour, you know? (I hate that about therapy!)
I hope some of this helps. I'm obviously biased. Good luck.
poster:wishingstar
thread:698958
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061026/msgs/698963.html