Posted by pegasus on October 25, 2006, at 9:37:00
In reply to I'm such an idiot, posted by mair on October 24, 2006, at 22:08:56
Oh, I can completely see how a session could unfold as you've described. You had a beautiful intention, and she probably had other beautiful intentions, and so it all went in an unexpected direction and you both had to wing it. And now you wish it could have gone differently. But, so much of therapy is winging it. And, you know, that's the way it should be. If we had time to prepare properly for everything, it'd be something quite different than it is.
You're in uncharted therapy territory, both of you. You will probably take some unhelpful turns. But hopefully you'll eventually find your way to a helpful place. I think the thing that's important is that you care about her, and you're trying to figure out the best way to proceed for you and for her. That intention is worth a lot, whatever ends up actually happening in sessions.
Is there a way that you could start seeing another T occasionally? Someone that feels safer for exploring your feelings about your main T's illness? It seems like a big thing to avoid dealing with at all, although I understand why you might not want to take it on in your current therapy.
Try to take care of yourself. I know it's hard for her, but it's hard for you too. That's totally valid.
p
poster:pegasus
thread:697494
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061012/msgs/697588.html