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Re: b

Posted by alexandra_k on October 10, 2006, at 1:17:39

In reply to b, posted by alexandra_k on October 10, 2006, at 1:11:57

i've been reading...
took the day of work to do some reading...
i was going to work.
but then i just wanted to find something...
i was going to work this afternoon.
but i was just reading something...
and now i feel upset.
too much.

i think...
i know whats wrong with me.
for the moment.
at the moment.
i get it.
getting it doesn't help.
doesn't help particularly.

i don't want to see my t because she is there.
the only t's i've ever gotten along with made it clear
right from the very first session
that it was time limited.
one month
three months
the longest time was eight months.
or p-doc who was always trying to dump me off...
in inpatient treatment
or with someone else
so of course i attached to him
because he wasn't there
i only attach to people who aren't there
if someone is there i can't attach
because it isn't safe.
it isn't safe.
it isn't safe for me.

and whats attachment anyway if it isn't mostly rage?
rage that they are leaving.
so mad
so f*cking mad
then at some point i see they don't deserve it...
and i realise i care
but only when they aren't there
not around.

i don't want my t
go away

 

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poster:alexandra_k thread:693465
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060926/msgs/693466.html