Posted by Lindenblüte on September 28, 2006, at 18:25:33
In reply to feeling triggered by my class today (childabuse ), posted by happyflower on September 28, 2006, at 18:02:05
> I am taking Developmental Lifespan Psych and today in class we were talking about the attachment of an infant and toddler and the different stages according to different Psych models. Well almost every different model pretty much says the same thing, on how important attachment (especially the mother) is in developing normally to adult. She discussed on what happens when the infant doesn't receive what they need even when just being born , and how it effects them as adults if the maltreatment still occures. I can see myself and some of my personality traits relating to this, and it makes me so mad, sad, and just kinda devestated to see the truth. I know I can turn around the results, but it seems so hard now realizing the reason I am messed up in certain ways. My mom really screwed me up and it hurt really bad because it wasn't just the emotional and physical torture, it was basic needs that all infants need.
>
> I know the physical, and emotional abuse impacts greatly but wow, the "neglect" is just as bad for developing healthy relationship even as an adult.
> My T got really upset one session when I told him how my mom used to say that I was spoiled when I was in the hospital after I was born. I was underweight, and had to stay their for a month until I gained enough weight and the nurses used to rock me at night and when I came home I would cry at night a lot, and it was of course according to her because I was spoiled. She had to "retrain" me (who really knows how she did that) He just said it really shows her mentality and how sick she really is.
> I thought I was okay, but now the more I know, the more I am angry at my childhood, it just wasn't fair to me. I know the world isn't fair, but damn when will the sh*t stop pouring in my life? I know this is the past, but in a way it is my present too. Why is it hard to trust people? Well duh, it now makes too much sense and it really pisses me off. I used to say when she is dead, then the torture will end, but when will the scars heal? I think I need to call my T .Please call your T. This stuff can be really upsetting. :(
-Li
poster:Lindenblüte
thread:690011
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060926/msgs/690018.html