Posted by finelinebob on September 15, 2006, at 20:31:12
In reply to My therpist isnt helping me.....and i need help, posted by rjlockhart on September 14, 2006, at 21:47:20
If you're just starting out, don't expect breakthroughs. Opening up to talk requires trust, and you cannot be expected to trust someone to the extent you need within a few weeks or even a few months. If it still isn't working then, have no regrets to saying goodbye and finding someone else. You need to be in charge of your own care -- don't surrender your healing to "experts" because none of them feel what you do. They don't have to live with it.
I wouldn't worry about any sort of mental maturity or sophistication. That's part of the point of therapy -- to help you develop that. Everyone needs to learn what 1 + 1 is before they can move on. I also wouldn't be so married to one particular theory of mind. They are models -- descriptions that MAY help us to understand, but if they don't then discard it and look for something that makes sense. The usefulness of a model is its explanatory power. If the id-ego-superego thing ain't doing it for you, then set it aside. It might later, maybe only in parts, but being the "subjects" and not the "researchers" allows use to have a theoretical pragmatism about it all -- who cares where it comes from or even if it inconsistent with other beliefs ... if it works for you, use it.
One other thing about building trust, at least for me. I refused to use "the couch" for at least a year. Talking to my T face to face, learning her non-verbal gestures and communications, all that I think led me to trusting her more and sooner than I would have been able to than if she insisted on me lying down with her above my head, out of sight. Without trust, to me that can seem quite condescending. With trust, it allows us both to focus on me ... even when it comes to body language, we both focus on my own.
Just some thoughts...
poster:finelinebob
thread:686066
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060911/msgs/686372.html