Posted by happyflower on August 15, 2006, at 18:44:51
In reply to Re: Have a question about ethics reporting » happyflower, posted by Tamar on August 14, 2006, at 12:26:10
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> I’m not saying I think it would be good if you actually had an affair. I don’t know whether it would be good or bad to do it. But I do think it’s a good thing to *think* about, because clearly you’ve reached a point where you want to do something to change the way things are.You are right, I need a change, things really stink at the moment.
> It seems to me as if an affair is almost a way of escaping from your marriage without leaving it. But maybe I’m projecting. Or maybe there’s a little part of you that wants to hurt him as much as he has hurt you? That would be pretty natural.Again yeah, it is like leaving but not. I don't think I am thinking of refenge, but more of my physical needs.
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> I can imagine that getting your sexual needs met in a relationship with your allergist would make you feel a lot better in many ways.Yeah, and he is cute too with a nice deep sexy voice! LOL I will be seeing him a lot in the next month because he asked me to take part in a medical research he is conducting. My next visit will be like 3 hours. He mentioned something about that we should have lunch together. I don't see him for 2 weeks so I have time to think about this. I have seen him for over 4 years and the fliting his taken a whole new level this year.
I suppose I wonder though whether a purely physical relationship would address your needs for comfort and security and love. Is there somewhere you can find those other things?
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This a good thought, but I don't really know, it gives me something to think about.> When I think about your relationship with your husband, it seems from what you’ve said as if it’s not just the sex you’re missing. He was a very important source of security for you for many years. And I imagine you feel as if he’s abandoned you not just sexually but emotionally too. Do you ever talk to him about that aspect of the relationship?
We don't talk much at all, I have tried over the last year, but he is closed down.
I know you’re angry about the infidelity aspect of things, but there seems to be so much more going on in your marriage than the lack of sex… I wonder what he’d say if you told him you missed feeling close to him and protected by him.I guess I am at the point where I don't want to protect me because I don't feel safe with him, I detest him.
> Please just tell me to mind my own business if I’m talking sh*t.I would never say that to you Tamar, I am glad you took the time to respond. I always like to hear from you. ;-) (even if you are talking sh*t,) LOL just kidding.
poster:happyflower
thread:676322
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060808/msgs/676814.html