Posted by Estella on August 8, 2006, at 22:40:52
In reply to Re: Self disclosure » Dinah, posted by littleone on August 8, 2006, at 21:21:04
I think my biggest issues are around fear and shame and embarrassment and humiliation around the idea that... if people really saw me. really saw what i think and how i feel and what i remember and the things i've done... then they would feel disgusted or repulsed in response. my biggest fear is that i'm somehow unacceptable and unworthy.
different people have different issues, of course.
but i've found that on babble... when i see how people support each other... it gives me courage to talk about some of that stuff that i'd never say / admit to irl because... i'm too ashamed / scared / embarrassed.
i disclose just a little... and you know what happens? people generally post something like 'yeah i've thought similar thoughts / had similar feelings / done similar stuff myself'. or if they don't say that... they are sympathetic and supportive (generally). and when that happens... i'm able to say with just a little more confidence 'you know maybe i'm not such a bad person after all'. i'm able to bring myself to believe it just that little bit more. i'm able to accept and like myself just that little bit more.
and then... i'm able to disclose something a bit bigger...
that is what i find most theraputic about babble. or maybe... that is something that i find theraputic about babble because i find a lot else besides that is theraputic as well :-) but that is probably the most significant thing about babble for me.
it is true that sometimes self disclosures aren't particularly well received. i guess that is where the civility rules are helpful. also... typically if someone posts something not so helpful... there are a lot of posters here and so take what helps and leave the rest i say :-)
don't know if this helps you or not...
but i think... this is one of the wonderful things about babble. but... baby steps yeah. because it is true that there is always a bit of a risk that something won't be well received. but nothing risked nothing gained. also... little disclosures and supportive responses and one becomes more resilient to be able to deal with unhelpful responses (and not take them personally).
:-)
poster:Estella
thread:674140
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060808/msgs/675075.html