Posted by muffled on July 27, 2006, at 0:38:13
In reply to In therapy tonight- i heard a part- hates me:(, posted by kerria on July 26, 2006, at 3:00:08
> Tonight i had therapy. i always knew there was a lot of conflict in my system (i have DID). i remember some things that a part said.
> i'm so shocked- it's so scary how much a part inside hates me and hates other parts. everything is so difficult now. Can anyone identify or help? i can't sleep- it's so upsetting.
> Lately i've been having really bad flashbacks. There's so much sadness and now this. It's so strange and to have an insider so against us. So much there's critcism inside against the things i say and do. It's so hard to deal with. i heard this part before once and now again. It's so scary that she's so against me.
>
> Please say something comforting. i'm so afraid now.
> Thanks for hearing,
> kerriaGlad to see you posting Kerria. y'know, you have been doing good posts.
I am so glad i don't get flashbacks. All I get is a blinding white flash and then nothing. And I am happy with that.
I also am not DID, I'm not that separated. Any sense of whats going on inside usu. comes thru in my writings.
I was awfully shocked once when I read some writings one time, they were HORRIBLE, shocking, evil. I don't remember what they said, I couldn't read all of it, I think it was bad stuff against myself, I took them and burned them. I HAD to burn them cuz they were SO awful.
Yeah, its scarey. But you have survived this part this long, and so this part proly can't do much cept keep stirring things up.
Mebbe its quite young this part?
Mebbe you could write some of this stuff and burn it?
Anyhow, I understand the hate. But I don't hate myself so much anymore. Though there still is a part that stirs up trouble, but it seems not as strong. Parts I like better are getting stronger and are more able to stand up to the bad parts.
And sometimes a part you think is bad, isn't. Mebbe its just trying to do what it can to do its job as best it knows how. Mebbe its not always the best way, but it can learn better ways. I think ultimately, your parts all want to be ok. Its just hard when you can't communicate well I guess.
I hope you got a good T who can help you thru this.
I dunno if I making much sense?
Glad to see you posting.
Take care of all of you.
Muffled.
poster:muffled
thread:670607
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060721/msgs/670999.html