Posted by bent on June 27, 2006, at 12:10:47
In reply to Gender and preferred therapy, posted by llrrrpp on June 26, 2006, at 20:57:18
I have often thought about this. I am comfortable with the idea of therapy. My fiance however, is not...yet we go to a couples therapist. Go figure? He has always said that he doesnt see the point, or he doesnt see how talking to some and having to pay to talk to that person, can be helpful. I am sure I sorta wondered these things before I ever entered therapy. But I notice where we differ and where he gets hung up in couples therapy. I can sit there and explain a situation and how it made me feel. He can explain a situation, but not the feelings. He may flat out deny feeling any thing. Our T tries to work with him and sometimes he opens up a little. When he does its like meeting a new part of him. I think for a lot of men it might be the feelings. They dont see how talking about feelings can get you anywhere, like they are not important. Or maybe even more they are afraid. I guess when you look at the difference between men and women on an emotional level its obvious that this could be a problem. I know my fiance has feelings but I also know he cant always put them into words like I can. And I think that makes him frightened of therapy. This is only my experience and I am sure there are many men who are quite comfortable with their emotions.
When our couples therapist wanted to see him alone for a few sessions he was very resistant but after talking about it a few weeks he went and he was surprised at how well it went. The therapist has also talked to him about a consult with a psychiatrist which he still flat out refuses. That, I think, is more a stigma thing sadly. Unfortunately, I think the negative therapy-stigma plays a large role in all this.
poster:bent
thread:661713
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060623/msgs/661850.html