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i feel so alone- like no one wants to ID with me

Posted by kerria on June 14, 2006, at 17:13:20

Hi everyone,
i know that i don't post a lot. So many times i read stuff that's so upsetting and feels like the door is closed to me here.

everything is so hard for me. When DID comes up it's usually persons who have overcome and are having no problems now (i'm no where near that happening) or people comforting others saying that they don't have anything so bad as DID. i feel so isolated and alone irl also- there isn't the acceptance of my h- my family doesn't want to understand and are critical of my problems. The physical pain of a nerve disorder is so hard to live with also. i lost my T after six years- the only T who knows my parts and that i've had since dx with DID (Yes- i really have it). It's so hard to live because who i am keeps changing. My parts don't just come out once a week in t, i have to switch in order to work and have relationships. everything is a confusing mess all the time . i couldn't find another T so i returned to the one who i had that doesn't know how to help me very much and everything is a lose lose situation. i struggle without any friends to work a few hours a week - if i can get there- it's almost impossible to do anything successfully. Finances are a wreck and there's parts that do things that waste money besides.
i'm so disappointed and feel so left out of everything.

Mostly whenever i post anywhere some always have a way of being critical and accusing- that i don't take responsibility and that i don't work hard enough to communicate with parts. They have no idea what it's like for me . i'm so hurt by support groups online. There's also a place that ends up barring me if certain parts write.- - she has no place to go without getting us thrown out- and i can't even help it.
No one understands that DID is Real- that there are parts- that some parts are doing well and some are having a very impossibly hard time - it's not all of me. i feel so cut off from everything- so misunderstood with no place to go for comfort and help.

my disorder has isolated me from everyone - even myself.

i wish i could find understanding somewhere.
feeling so rejected by everyone,
kerria


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poster:kerria thread:656991
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